Maʻuhala #1: Fakaʻatā ʻa e mītiá ke ne puleʻi hoʻo ʻai valá.

 “ʻI he taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻoku tohoakiʻi au ki ha ākenga koeʻuhi ko e lahi ʻeku sio ai ʻi he ngaahi tuʻuakí,” ko e lea ia ʻa ha taʻu hongofulu tupu ko Theresa. “ʻI he taimi ʻokú ke toutou sio ai ki ha kakai ʻoku nau tui ha vala pau, ʻokú ke loto mo koe foki ke tui ia.”

 ʻOku ʻikai ko e tamaiki fefiné pē ʻoku uesia kinautolu ʻe he ngaahi tuʻuakí. “ʻOku tākiekina foki mo e tamaiki tangatá ʻe he ngaahi sitaila vala fakamuimui tahá,” ko e lau ia ʻa e tohi The Everything Guide to Raising Adolescent Boys. “Naʻa mo e tamaiki tangata kei īkí, kuo feinga ʻa e kau tuʻuakí ke tākiekina mo kinautolu.”

 ʻAhiʻahiʻi eni: ʻOku pehē ʻe he Tohi Tapú: “Ko e tokotaha taʻefakapotopotó ʻokú ne tui ki he lea kotoa pē, ka ko e tokotaha fakapotopotó ʻokú ne fakakaukauʻi ʻene laka taki taha.” (Palōveepi 14:15) Ke fehoanaki mo e tefitoʻi moʻoni ko ení, feinga ke fakakaukau fakalelei fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi tuʻuaki ʻokú ke sio aí. Ko e fakatātaá, ʻi he taimi ʻokú ke sio ai ʻi he ngaahi tuʻuakí ʻi ha vala ʻoku “fakatauele,” ʻeke hifo kiate koe:

•  ‘Ko hai ʻe lelei ki ai kapau te u muimui ʻi he ākenga ko ení?’

•  ‘ʻE fakakaukau ʻa e kakaí ko e faʻahinga tokotaha fēfē au kapau te u tui ʻa e vala ko ení?’

•  ‘ʻKo e meʻa ia ʻoku ou loto ke fakakaukau ki ai ʻa e kakaí fekauʻaki mo aú?’

 Tokoni ki he ʻai valá: ʻI ha uike ʻe taha, ʻi he taimi kotoa pē ʻokú ke sio ai ki ha tuʻuaki fekauʻaki mo e valá, ʻeke hifo kiate koe ʻa e ngaahi fehuʻi ko ení. Ko e hā ʻa e founga moʻui ʻoku nau pouakí? ʻOku nau feinga nai ke fakalotoʻi koe ke ke tui ʻa e sitaila vala ko ení? “ʻOku ʻi ai ha tenge mālohi ke hā matamatalelei, vala lelei, pea fakahāhā atu ʻokú ke sino ‘lelei,’” ko e lau ia ʻa ha taʻu hongofulu tupu ko Karen. “ʻOku ʻiloʻi ʻe he kau tuʻuakí ʻoku ongoʻi pehē ʻa e toʻutupú, ko ia ʻoku nau feinga leva ke ngāueʻaongaʻaki ia.”

Maʻuhala #2: ʻAi vala ʻi ha founga pau ke tali koe ʻe he taha kotoa.

 ʻOku pehē ʻe ha toʻutupu ko Manuel, “kapau ʻoku ʻi ai ha sitaila pau ʻo e valá ʻoku manakoa kuo pau ke tui ia ʻe he tokotaha kotoa. Kapau ʻe ʻikai ke ke tui ia, heʻikai te ke ʻiloa.” ʻOku ongoʻi pehē mo Anna. “Ko e meʻa mahuʻinga tahá ia ke tali koe ʻe he niʻihi kehé,” ko ʻene leá ia.

 ʻAhiʻahiʻi eni: ʻOku pehē ʻe he Tohi Tapú: “Tuku hono fakafuo kimoutolu ki he fokotuʻutuʻu ko ení.” (Loma 12:2) Ke fehoanaki mo e faleʻi ko iá, vakaiʻi hoʻo meʻa tautauʻanga valá pea ʻeke hifo kiate koe:

•  ‘Ko e hā ʻa e tafaʻaki tefito ʻokú ne tākiekina ʻeku ʻai valá?’

•  ‘Ko e hā hono mahuʻinga kiate au ke maʻu ha vala ʻoku ngaohi ʻe ha kautaha ʻiloa?’

•  ‘ʻOku ou feinga nai ke saiʻia mai ʻa e niʻihi kehé ʻi hoku valá?’

 Tokoni ki he ʻai valá: ʻI he ʻikai sio pē ki ha foʻi fili ʻe ua​​—ko e ākenga fakamuimui tahá (pea tali lelei) pe ākenga motuʻa (pea talitekeʻi)​—fakakaukau ki ha fili hono tolu: fakakaukau pau. Ko hoʻo fiemālie ange ʻi ho fōtungá ko e siʻi ange ia hoʻo loto-moʻua ke tali lelei koe ʻe he niʻihi kehé.